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"But we're paying for it!"

Ok, so the guest list for our wedding is at about 125 people. At the chapel we've chosen, the difference between 100 people and 125 people is about $650. So my mother wants to cut costs (understandably, I'm not upset about a smaller wedding, it has already gotten bigger than I wanted) and decided we'll cut the guest list.

My parents (really just my mother) have by far the most guests invited, followed by my fiance's parents, and then my fiance and I. My mother wants US to cut some of our friends to bring the cost down. I pointed out to her that SHE has the most guests invited (people I don't even *know*) and why should I have to take my FRIENDS off the guest list, and oh by the way, it's not her wedding.

And then she said it. "But we're paying for it!"

I'm so frustrated. It's our wedding and we want the people we know and like to be there. I don't care if these people my mother knows are there.

Anyway. Advice??? How do I deal with this?


( 4 comments — Leave a comment )
Apr. 4th, 2008 05:31 pm (UTC)
"We appreciate that you are paying for it. BUT you've already had your wedding, this is OUR wedding, and we only want to have people that we know and love there. We've already cut several of our friends that we'd really like to attend, but we know that we can't invite everyone and still be within budget."

If she bitches after that, is there anyone else in the family that can beat some sense into her?
Apr. 4th, 2008 10:12 pm (UTC)
See if there is anyone on the list who won't come, we invited 238 people knowing that 40 of them wouldn't come for whatever reason and ended up with about 140 at the actual event. The people won't come cut down your cost with out cutting the guest list and most of these people are liekly to be in you parents lists (older relatives people you see only occasionally)
Apr. 4th, 2008 10:17 pm (UTC)
Ask her to move some of her friends to a B list. That way if people decline (no matter who they are) they will be sent invites. If she wants to cut costs, she needs to do it on her end.

Really it is your wedding, if they want to invite all of their friends have a post wedding BBQ celebration at their house.
Apr. 4th, 2008 10:23 pm (UTC)
I'd try to talk with her reasonably about this first, for example, tell her she's already had her wedding and this is YOUR wedding and should be about you and your fiance. Also try the B-list suggestion that someone else made.

However, if that doesn't work. Try threats. "So mom, how badly do you WANT to see my get married? Huh? Huh? Maybe I'll just...disappear for a little while with my fiance..."

(Kidding, (partially) about the last part. :D )
( 4 comments — Leave a comment )


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